Remove Fear and Eliminate Many of Your Challenges
The previous lesson explained the most common obstacles you’ll face and the tools to overcome or prevent them. This lesson demonstrates the influence of fear in your life. Most of the obstacles in your life are caused by fear at home or work.
It’s unlikely you have any issues in your life that weren’t created by fear. You might not think that your financial or relationship challenges are rooted in fear. However, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll probably realize that many of your obstacles are caused by your fears and inability to appropriately deal with them.
Consider these examples:
- Insecurity. Fear of abandonment is a common fear. It’s also common to fear the loss of autonomy or freedom. Trust issues can also be fear-based. You might be afraid that you won’t be accepted entirely or the security you had is in jeopardy.
- Pacifiers. Many people deal with fear and anxiety by shopping, which can create debt. Maybe you gossip at the water cooler to make yourself feel better. Some simply fear discomfort and are unable to let go of that expensive car or morning coffee.
- Procrastination. Procrastination can be caused by fear of failure or the perceived discomfort of performing an unpleasant task.
- For example, you might fear you’re missing out on something exciting and check your email instead of working.
- You are stuck in a job you dislike.
- You might be afraid that no other decent jobs exist for you.
- Fears of giving up your benefits or getting a new job that pays less.
- You might be afraid of going through the application process and competing for a better job.
These are just a few examples. Consider the other parts of your life that are challenging. Can you see how fear has a negative impact?
How to handle the fears that are holding you back:
- Realize that fear is uncomfortable, but it isn’t a good reason to avoid doing something. Fear is helpful if you’re considering doing something physically dangerous. But at the end of the day, fear is simply a feeling.
- There’s no reason to let fear guide every decision you make.
- Think about the fearful activity and simply breathe. Your body is unable to maintain a fear reaction in the long term. There’s a psychological technique called “flooding.” In flooding, a person is exposed to their fear without being allowed any reprieve.
- Think about the activity that makes you uncomfortable and focus on taking long, deep breaths. Notice how you start to feel better.
- Make a list of the ways that fear is holding you back. If some part of your life is in complete turmoil, you likely made poor decisions in the past. How did fear affect your decision-making abilities at that time?
- Remember the times you were fearful and still made the right choice. You’ve likely had times where you felt fear but managed to take the appropriate course of action anyway.
- Remind yourself of those times and remember how strong you can be.
- Practice dealing with discomfort. Take a situation that you find mildly uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s eating peas or talking to an attractive member of the opposite sex. Force yourself to deal with small doses of the discomfort and increase the level of exposure over time.
- Although it’s challenging to give up the habit of avoidance, you’ll be surprised at how much you can tolerate it.
- Realize that discomfort and fear are frequently good things. If you’re not doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, your life will likely stay the same. It’s only when you push your comfort level that new things can begin to happen.
Fear is the most common cause of challenges in life. Learn to work through fear and gain the ability to make positive choices. You’ll boost your self-esteem and enjoy a happier life. Learn to embrace discomfort as a positive sign that your life is about to change for the better.
The upcoming lesson will provide a way to deal with your challenges quickly and simply. That doesn’t necessarily mean it will be easy!
Here’s what you need to do today:
Become more adept at dealing with discomfort in your daily life. Be careful because we seek out comfort. We’re so quick to respond to any form of discomfort. We don’t have any immunity to it. Rebuild that ability in yourself.
Here are a few ideas to stimulate your thinking:
- Don’t avoid challenging situations; deal with them
- Refuse to engage in your most common avoidance/distraction techniques – cell phone, internet, TV, and so on.
- When you feel like quitting an unenjoyable task, persist for another 15 minutes.